"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustworthiness, gentleness, self-control." - Galatians 5:22

I didn't have a verse planned for this post, as I did before when verses just came to me. So this was the verse of the day on a Bible app I have. I sit here and process this and it is hitting me that the fruit of the Spirit doesn't happen overnight. It comes slowly as you are changed and healed and renewed. I can say that through the work God has been doing in myself and in Matt, we hopefully are producing fruit in these areas. I think we will always be refined throughout every adventure, obstacle, struggle, joy, and tear that we face. That leads me into this post after a year of not writing anything.

Last time I wrote was when we were still living in Philadelphia after news of no surgery plans for me. Well a lot has happened since then. I am not sure if I ever mentioned this, but Matt and I prayed for a very long time that God would heal my heart. We honestly believed that God was so much bigger than the heart condition I was born with and that He could do anything because He is the ultimate physician and my creator. After the news that nothing could be done, I think we stopped praying that, but God never stopped listening. He never stopped loving. He never forgot.

About a year ago I emailed my original Cardiologists in L.A. that I had gone through all this testing and they told me there was again nothing they could do either. I asked them if they wanted the tests for their records, since I would never see the doctor in Philly again. They said yes and I had them sent. About a month after that I received an email that they would like to take the results and present them to the Cardiology team and the surgeon. I said yes not expecting anything to come of it. Then I got an email a bit after that, that may forever change my life.

I was told that the surgeon who did my update in 2002 had a plan to correct my heart. They didn't know much detail and said it would be a big undertaking, but at some point when I visit California, I should meet with him. Thanks to an amazing friend who encouraged me to go to a conference in California, I had a reason to go and got an appointment with the surgeon. All I can say again is that God never forgot our prayer. This surgeon can whole heartedly repair my heart.

Yes this will be a major surgery. There is a pretty low risk, but a large undertaking. I will have to do some updated pretesting in Texas, then fly to California for the surgery. It may be able to be done all at one time, which is what our prayers are for. If there is any risk, they will split it into two surgeries, about a week or so apart. The healing time could be 1-3 weeks. The surgeon estimates 2 and then I could fly home. Matt would only be able to be there for a few days and that will be rough.

Am I scared? Yes, I would be lying if I said I wasn't. Am I excited? You have no idea. To be completely honest, it is actually hard to believe that the dreams I have of running, climbing mountains, and having children can come true. It is so hard to believe that Jesus loves me so much that He will heal my heart through this gifted surgeon.

So I leave this post with something one of my really amazing friends told me. She said, your baby (the one we lost) saved your life. I sit back and am starting to be grateful for a very painful time in our lives. That without that baby, we would have never gone through the testing and maybe would never have been at the point we are at now. Wow! When I see our baby in heaven one day I will never want to let go for what that baby did for me, did for us. Jesus sacrificed His life for me, our baby sacrifices his/her life for me. I am humbled.

This was a long post, but we ask for prayer. A lot of prayer. Prayer for finances for the surgery, prayers for testing to go smoothly and well, prayers for the travel and the logistics of everything, prayers for being apart, prayers for one surgery and not two, prayers for quick healing, prayers for me not worrying about every detail. I honestly could go on. Prayers for however God leads you to pray. Thank you for reading and loving us through this.