Setbacks Are Tough

"No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you. " ~ Joshua 1:5

This verse reminds me that God is always with me no matter what. In whatever life circumstance or event, He is with me and will not leave me and will not forsake me. That is a pretty incredible promise and I sometimes forget all the times that He has never left me. So if I focus on those, I can know that no matter what He will be with me.

I have been learning a lot that our timing is not always God's timing. Actually it rarely is. Yes there are people out there that it seems everything they have planned has happened exactly when and how they planned it, but that is not completely normal for the rest of the world. I have to rest in who God made me and not worry about what others have or what they are doing, but know that this is the adventure He has given to me and to rest in that.

There definitely have been set backs to "my" plan. Sometimes I get mad or frustrated that things are not going how I want them to. I am really trying to work on that because really it does not matter. As far as surgery is concerned, it is a lot more complicated and intense than just setting a date and going under the knife. There are pieces to the puzzle they have to form, there are tests and measurements that need to be perfect, and the timing needs to be right. Everyone on the team needs to be on the same page. This all makes sense when you look at it this way.

Since there are obstacles, it changes the picture a bit and they really don't know what the plan is right now. I am getting treated with whatever infection I contracted. It probably was from India unfortunately, but I am still glad I went. I have a cardiac Catheterization scheduled for the end of July in Los Angeles, and then I will wait and see what is next. My nurse from the team that I have known for 20+ years now reminded me not to put my life on hold. That there are no guarantees on when and how things will happen, so just live my life.

I think all of that is easier said than done. We have been raising support, which has been a tremendous help since we are paying a ton of money out of pocket for the high premium, and the tests I have had so far have been really expensive. The money given has really helped us financially and we are so forever grateful. It is all getting put towards God's plan for me. I don't know what this year holds, but I do know that God is right by my side.